Judgment(s) and Rapture > Dig Compassion for Self

Portland, Oregon, 13 October 2011

In a Pickle...

I have been in this healing process for so long. And I have dedicated myself to it, and to, as I 'promised' to myself, remaining conscious in those intense shifting times. Intense change always brings growing pains, so a lots of the healing process has been painful as I, planet, you, we all have been releasing our pain body (meaning growing, evolving, transforming). I am also of amazing stamina and endurance. And as I started to read into energies of this fall, I was kind of looking forward to it, for I was finally seeing the light at the end of the very long tunnel I have been in. I felt euphoric and did some amazing work clearing the fields above the seventh), felt as I am getting to place of finally sitting not only in my personal power, but being sort of ready to step into something new finally (fifth-dimensional consciousness/self-actualizing/free).

Heh! Almost the next day I spiraled into the lower levels of hell. I grew so mad and could not quite figure what and why it was happening. I was arguing with God over the process. I told him off and used language I normally do not use. I cried for several days, but there was a moment where I knew God was with me, and I could hear, "I am sorry." I still do not feel that I am in a place of total forgiveness where I can turn around and say, "apology accepted, lets move on." No, I still feel hard in my heart and I know it is because I have to forgive myself and I have to accept that journey I chose was that of suffering and that even though today I know that God does not require self-sacrifice, I had to do it to know that is not required; but now I have to overcome my own judgments of myself over all of my choices I have made in this life and all previous lives. Together with the choice I made just at the end of the September where I told myself, "lets get into this gap/rapture business and be done with it." So I called it forth, and then in the middle of it, I wanted to pull back.

And as I know now that self-sacrifice is ultimate self-denial and the path of the largest resistance to self (read the most painful path), if you want to reconnect with the Source. I have been beating myself, not for not getting that lesson, but for going through it; and how would I get it if I did not go thorough it, duh? We humans are so weird and beautiful at the same time. So magic word or theme here is that one of self-acceptance (opposite to self-resistance) coupled with acceptance of one's own path (which is totally separate lesson). Got previous one long time ago.

However, in hindsight all makes sense and I would not change my life for any easier one. Yet, I am still in the process of self-flagellation. But the worse is over, and I a back to my mantra, "it is just part of the process, it will be over." So that growing pain passes, new lesson is learned, tons of emotional ballast released... And new energy is moving in. More of self restored.

But again, I am still in the middle of the process and I am not yet on the sunny shore as I have hard time forgiving myself. So if anyone out there is reading this, I am writing it for you, to share, so you know it is OK, no matter which way you are choosing, when God is concerned. We are our worst judges and with that in our hearts it is hard to make reconnect. This place is extremely hard, but if you are at this place right now, having abnormal levels of anxiety, difficulty breathing, heavy in your chest it is all coming up for release. And this is the worse of all that has been stored on the planet: terrifying rage, hatred for self, God, tons of judgments. Now, it seems to me that heavy emotions will be expressed, but judgments are so hard. Because so many of them may be reminiscence of many previous lifetimes of which we may hardly be conscious. So I suggest for that part to release all judgments you have ever placed on yourself in your entire universal life ask Universe to help you with it. Ask for judgments to be lifted and compassion to replace the energy void of released judgments.

Rapture
Now, I am seeing the picture. We have had to step into place of reclaimed personal power before we take a plunge into the gap. Into the rapture. The rupture is literally that - a split inside of our body's in the line of heart. It is horizontal and we have to 'jump start' that gap so that we reconnect two sides (and chakras) of our body. Lower and upper. It has been created by extreme opposition of feminine self to masculine self. It is energetic opposition, polarization that literally creates first a force field that is so powerful that nothing can go through it (hate) and then it creates gap/rapture/split inside of ourselves (all applies to our planet's electromagnetic field as well). This is major split and there are minor splits...
There was prerequisite for this and it took long and grueling journey where all we have known become meaningless after all the struggle. But it is all so necessary. Our arduous journey has forced us into releasing the primal survival fear out of our bodies which has had amazing grip on directing our lives. Now intensity of it so lessened and we can release this other heavy stuff. And hopefully survive. Trust me, I have gone through some intense releases, but this time I wrote My Will. Even though I am so dedicated to the life and process or process of living and healing. Even though, I saw some amazing visions of the future, and sort of have hunch I will get through it, at the same time I am also ready to leave if I cannot figure out the exit. But I have said in the past to some of my friends, "Suicide has saved my life several times. At very difficult times I got through it because I knew that was an ultimate option that I always had at my disposal." That is how I got alive out of my besieged hometown during the Bosnian war. I thought, "this is it, I cannot take it anymore. I kill myself or I leave this ghetto." Next day, I set out to cross through enemy territories into Croatia, got jailed, was placed to sleep with enemy solders in the same rooms (their dorm rooms and in the same jail cell, went on a hunger strike when put into forced work, and various other close shaves -- all unscathed -- and I believe only two things helped me: I was fearless, but well aware, I trusted that I will find a way to speak to any human heart (which is typical of fool); as well as I believed someone watched over my crossing most likely my deceased dad. I was twenty-six old female and alone.

Having said this about suicide, I want to say that I have suffered severe depression from my teen years until I was thirty-four when I embarked on proactive and conscious healing path in order to deal with my life traumas. From this perspective having been on both sides I do want to say that there is difference in depression and suicide I have experience before and now. If I can sum it in simple terms:
Before it was self-destructive and the inner voice was telling me that I was worthless and could never get any better, no way out etc. If you experience this, this voice is NOT your voice, it is more like we are transmediums. So depression comes from transmediumship, meaning we channel energy that is not ours through our system and as we are so little aware we take it on as our on. Psychic trademark is seventh chakra is wide open to all the crap of the world to enter it (funnily I have seen it manifest boldness with men).
This time is kind of opposite, though lots of pain feels like depression I know it is not depression, but frustration and I know it is my own resistance to self, and in some way comes from place of self-preservation. Weirdly enough.
But bottom line is, sort of like disclaimer, I do not endorse suicide.

I have had so many visions and exchanges of energy in last couple of weeks that is hard to even keep track and remember all of it, but what I feel is important to share is, it is just part of the process and lots of darkness is lifting from our hearts. This is not easy and I believe cannot be fluffy process. However stick with it, it will lessen in intensity (if you have been doing homework and if you are in alignment with the Earth releasing from her pain body and her heart): there is the end of the tunnel. Almost there.

In my arguments with God where I told him, I hated him for hating me, I was taught greatest lesson by my gambling addict friend, "You have too much faith," he said to me. I was like, "wow, so true, you are my teacher today." I have placed so much faith, belief and trust in God. I realized the lesson of the recovering the heart and recovering from all of the hurts from the time of inception to today was to reset my faith to myself, my trust in myself, and my belief in myself. Because that is how we humans got disconnected from the God in the first place. We got hit into our esteem and never recovered from it. Third chakra is what we have had to totally recover. So while I recovered a lot of my personal power I was still in distrust of myself, not having faith and not believing that I can manifest what I need for myself, and I fell. So as I have said so many times in my previous posts: reset your reclaimed power to being senior in your own being, being commanding in your own being, being certain of your own being. But now in the fourth chakra reset to trust yourself to do anything you want, believe in yourself, have faith in yourself.

New Timeline and No Way Back

Portland, Oregon, 20 September 2011

Reversal of the Magnetic Flow on the Planet Earth

This past week we have entered the timeline of reversal of the flow of the Divine Feminine~Will~Magnetic force* on our Earth. The reversal in the flow of magnetic energy may be what some have prophesied to be a pole shift. I am not certain what physical manifestation of this reversal will be, I am more certain that it is going to manifest in some way as

1. collapse of current money flows around the planet (as money has been perceived by humans as primary power holder) and

2. reversal in the abundance flows.
3. Divine Mother is starting to close up space to all those who have took her for granted, who have desecrated her, who have denied her presence, and yet she kept them alive because she opens and holds space open for life, etc, etc... I suggest you say thank you to the Great Mother for every foot you put forward for she holds that space for life that is you, for life of you.

Space crises will manifest in increased totalitarianism and lack. Simply because those who run the system matrix run on the guilt energetic and the Guilt never moves back once you give it the space. The only way you can move it back is through it out of your space. So check around yourself who is making you feel guilty. Those people and/or organizations are the ones you best kick out of your life if you want to live.

The entire global capital power pyramid is hollowed out and now will start to collapse. What has represented the hollow power (power entities/holders who really do not have power themselves, but as we perceived ourselves to be powerless they could grab onto our own energy which of course translates into amassed power).

This reversal process will collapse the power matrix that has held our planet caged and all beings in servitude or entrapment. How long it will take? Dunno, depends on you, I and all of us. How long it will take us to get it. That 'their' power is illusionary power we have given up ourselves. How long it will get us to stop playing the victim and see how we have fed the system/matrix.

Choice. This is a collective homework. The matrix has been hundreds of thousands of years in the making, not easy task. Though trust it is doable. For time is now, and entire Universe is conspiring to help us. Take responsibility in looking who do you really serve, who is your Master and break the agreement ring with feeding the collapsing power paradigm on Earth. Time to cast all the rings into the fire!

Seems as civil unrest is already flaming as result of the reversal with the protests against the elites. But remember, the corporate greed and corruption is reflection of what we have allowed them to be and do to us. So do the inner work as well.

Ask to align yourself with your true self, accept your free will and align it with Divine Will, align with and nest within the Source of all. Reset yourself to self-love and unconditional self-acceptance, for our connection with the Source is in love and co-creation. Cast the rings** of self-hatred, self-judgment and guilt into the fires of Mt. Morodor! For it is those vibrations that have been holding us, ultimately, in bondage and servitude to Lucifer (for our Masters have their Master). Step out of victimhood and take responsibility for yourself. Reclaim your seniority and command, your certainty and your power! Reclaim yourself and shine your true self out the world, to universe. Make a choice and you can do it! Entire Universe will start moving your way to support you. Trust and have a faith. This is not a small feat! Entire universe’s car park is parked around our planet watching the outcome, for what we do will affect entirety of our cosmos. Our planet is the free will planet. The Earth holds the home energy for the feminine power of the Source and is not going to tolerate anymore denial of herself, and life for which She opens and holds the space to exist.

Body issues are going to continue be related to Architecture of Guilt Bondage System, which is centered at the center of human chest, so all immune system issues (asthma like symptoms, feeling of being squeezed...). Broken limbs as relates to bondage in fourth dimension.

*And I am referring to it as a force as opposed as a power (you know force vs. power), as it is going to be forceful. The Great Mother is fed up!
**Ring symbolizes spiritual agreement. We have made many to step into victim consciousness in order to have karmic experience (we barely had a choice, but we did). Time is now to keep tossing the rings until we are free to step onto dharmic path if we choose.

Japan New Moon Earthgrid Activation

Portland, OR, 11 March 2011

Here is the list of the earthquakes within the last week in that area (source: the US Geological Survey Earthquakes website), with today's 7.1 magnitude included.

Portland, OR, 15 March 2011

While the emotional clearing of Chilean and Christchurch, New Zealand earthquakes have been swinging shake ups and downs of terror from the body of the Earth as well as people who wanted to move it with her, the earthquake and tsunami event in Japan has been about movement of terrified rage of the Earth. The Earth is terrified and outraged at our prospect and predisposition to self destruct. She is terrified about loss of life and she is outraged at our choice to continue self destructive, life destructive path. She is really pissed about use of nuclear energy which is highly detrimental to transference of her feminine energy (nuclear radiation is really harmful to the cellular information which is how our matrilineal information is stored), and with it to the life that she has fostered, nurtured and nourished for so long since the time of Atlantis self destruction.

On the 1st of April 2011 Nick Fiorenza of Lunar Planner web site posted "Japan New Moon Earthgrid Activation" article.

Did Chilean Earthquake Shift Earth's Figure Axis?

Oakland, CA, 11 March 2010

Well, NASA's newest newsletter says, "On Feb. 27, 2010, the Chilean quake may have moved the figure axis as much in a matter of minutes as it normally moves in a whole year. It was a truly seismic shift—no pun intended."

Oakland, CA, 22 March 2010

Plate continues adjusting and more terror is released from the depths of the Earth. There will be more of it, so keep watching:
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/

More amazing effects onto our fifth layer of galactic consciousness coming from this galactic event:
http://www.lunarplanner.com/Snippets/V407_Cygni/

So, fasten your seat belts and prepare for a hell of a ride!
Panic (panic attacks and similar) is part of this process, so notice it, feel it, ask what is it about and let it be. Then it will just move out.
Those who are choosing to still ignore their own terror will have pictures (events) brought into their life so that they can face what they are avoiding. Because, the Earth is keeping it no more inside of herself.

The Judgment Over Terror Seal Opened at Haiti

Christchurch, New Zealand, 15 January 2010

Glimpse Into the Tunnel

With the Haiti earthquake the Earth has shook of the judgment seal placed on the feeling and emotion of terror and fear. Terror has been the most denied emotion (not only on the Earth but in the entire universe). So with heavy judgments coming from all directions terror has been getting more and more compressed. Inside of us, inside of our planet… Our judgment of it has been like a seal on top if it not allowing this emotion, nor feeling to move, and therefore to transform so that we can grow out of it. Just reminder, in case you have not read any previous posts, emotions are of magnetic energetic nature. So imagine six billion plus souls holding their terror suppressed deep down inside of themselves. It has been taking heavy toll on the Earth and on all of us.

Opening of this Seal is like opening of the Pandora jar and allowing our fear and terror to surface. So in retrospect, if I look back at the previous twelve months I could call the past year - Year of Rage, and giving the energy that I know will be coming up in the 2010, I would call this year - Year of Terror (and Fear). Terror and fear will be coming up to be transformed.

What I am noticing with people is that they are bringing a lots of shapeshifting demons (the second highest order of demons, fallen angel being the highest, though is not as frequent) up to be cleared. All people I have read lately have had them. These demons are so attached to the vibration of terror.

The picture that starts to form is that all of these various traps, distractions and siphons to our energetic body sit at the place of the opening, gateway, our way to the other dimensions. I have been talking a lot about the bridge that we have to build and cross to bring the polar opposites inside of ourselves to balancing point. What I am seeing now is that at this balancing point on 'the bridge' there is tunnel that needs to be cleared. This tunnel is our way out/up. However you want to put it. It is not about getting out of our skins. It is just about accessing our true self and reconnecting to our true Source information, to our true origins. It is the tunnel that connects to higher (meaning above forth dimension) dimensions. This requires increase in resonance of our electromagnetic field. In addition with this information came some vague information how this is the 'proper' way to access the higher dimensions and not through astral travel, astral body connection, etc. that has been the only one known to us humans in recent eons. Once this process is over, we will be connecting differently with the dimensions past the third dimension. Stay tuned for updates.

The judgment seal is placed in the same spot where the Guilt Caltrop is, and that is place of attachment for higher order demons (it looks like so far) and that is where our 'tunnel' starts. So, it is almost laughable to think that demons are just like Greek mythology Cerberos (multi-headed hound): the underworld gatekeepers... Hahaha. Though it makes sense, we are not to escape the underworld...I mean, our Keepers would like it to stay that way. Enslavement is profitable energy siphoning venture after all. It makes sense that there is elaborate system to cover up the access. Though, we always have to remember we are responsible for placing ourselves in a harms way and making this enslavement contract.

What does that mean for you and your body? It means immuno-suppression. Our lymphatic system is severely affected. And of course, this effects organs further down the line. But the most affected is breathing organs: larynx, esophagus, thoracic Duct, cysterna chyli (consequently affects lungs, heart, etc.)...

Bodyworks Continues

Christchurch, New Zealand, 12 December 2009

Notice, Observe, That is All

After couple of adventurous side tours, I arrived to a totally new environment, to the opposite side of the globe to spend my hibernating times. The Island of the New and not too damaged by traumatic experiences as the Land is fairly new (in geologic terms) and history as well. So while I have been letting myself to wind down a bit at the same time, I was also struggling with old co-dependence and new co-creative concepts. At some point, I realized that the split and path diversion is about us making choice which way to go. And that while the old concept is familiar and we keep running the same circles, the new concept is scary as it is figuring out how to manifest new ways of relating amidst the old mess. Conceptually it is clear, but still unclear, how, what, where...
Somehow, I have certainty that it is OK for now to just take care of myself. Have as good food as possible. Continue to do what I can given the circumstances to support my body in the bodyworks. Tittering between two worlds, knowing that I am not going anywhere yet, taking care of myself is the most compassionate thing I can do.
Even though, I have let go of so many relationships in recent years, there is still struggle that comes from observing loved ones choosing to stay in co-dependence and suffering as a result. It is hard work to constantly reminding oneself that that is also a choice and it just means they are choosing a different path and that I can only respect whatever choices they have made. But I know there is a learning in all, and that is what has kept me going my entire life. Now, it is not any different, and mind you, all of this is piece of cake when I think of it (looking over my life in retrospect). With all of that, there is also a picture emerging about learning how to reconcile these two diverging, but still co-existing realities in same time-space.
In addition, it has been an exercise in simply noticing and observing discrepancies in the environment and seeing how discrepancies are addressed as a result of bringing awareness. Amazing. Witnessing the power of bringing the awareness into the picture. Trusting that the energy flows. :-)

Let Body Work Its Magic

Christchurch, New Zealand, 11 October 2009

BODY - Fourth Manifested Part of God (Creation)

While previously I had thought that my next post would be about creating with magic it turns out, I was right and wrong at the same time. Magic is effortless and instantaneous manifestation. Now, I am thinking how arrogant and ignorant of me to think so. For over six years I have been working electro-magnetics of my system that I totally lost sight of the vessel. Thus, what has actually manifested is that feel totally empty, totally tired and wandering how I will make it. And I am about to embark onto the unknown road to the unknown. Bridging endeavour.

As it turns out I was wrong in that, that it is not going to be magic manifestations in the outside reality yet. But I was right in that that magic will be inside works of my body. Body magically works by itself. I realized that I have been hard on myself and that my body needs a break from all the work. Body is manifest part of God and God has a body just as we do(we are made in God’s image, right?), plus entirety of the physical manifestation of the Universe. And since energy cannot vanish… I wonder, what we have been thinking so far. It seems so obvious now!

There has been such massive offload of the old energies and upload of the new... And human physical body due to its energetic density simply takes much longer to shift energies (to release the old and integrate the new). There are time-lines of how long it takes for complete journey of a blood drop, lymph liquid, neuron, hormone, etc... And while certainly I can applaud myself for mammoth energy shifts, now I know I have to lay low for a while. Hibernate, let all the old blocked energy to leak out of my body (toxins, thus helping body to detox is the top priority) and to reintegrate the new once there is room for it... That is how I realized that the time coming up would be non-eventful on the outside... And that I just have to let my body work its magic, while I am half asleep. Heh.

So to reiterate: entire summer and especially September have been such a power house of release of the old and upload of the new energies that now we simply have to assimilate all of it into our physical bodies. There was release of sewage like energy from the thrusting channel. Basically sewage created but unused and blocked genetic information. This information with no ability to move simply rotted, turned toxic due to stagnancy. This conversion (from letting go of the new to letting in the new) in turn is going to burden the urinary bladder channel as it will carry out all this toxic sewage out of the body. Therefore, if you are experiencing hair loss problems out of the blue it is simply due to toxins moving through the body, just let your body do what it does the best. Do not freak out and get in its way. Just stay with the process. After urinary bladder, gall bladder (and channels) will be affected, as of course liver (and channels). For me kidneys have been under stress because I was shifting a lot, but not supporting my body as much. So my kidneys are depleted as well. And I have a hunch it is like that for many.

At this time we have been releasing traumatic memories stored in our bodies. Human body has a consciousness of it’s on. Much of trauma of human body is that is has been seen just as a vessel of service to the spirit. However, at this time is the first time that human body will take its rightful and integral place as a part of creation. This is different cleanse from before. While there has been much hormonal harmonizing, and neural pathways clearing, this is cellular cleanse. Trauma and resulting toxins stored on cellular level. Hence, bone marrow, lymph system (thymus and spleen in particular), then every cell of our body. And since liver is master controller of many functions relating to production of blood, influencing lungs, intestines, kidneys, urinary bladder, plus having all toxic material go through it… Discomfort to say the least. Muscle pain, especially back due to release of the toxins on the cellular level, heightened cell acidity, so instead work out, have a massage and go to the hot springs and saunas.
All of this work, and what is to follow will affect men to a great degree and they may experience impotence and ‘low sperm count.’ This problems are not only physiological in nature. And this problem may persist for a while with men, before they clear the terror from their chests. I guess (since I am not a man), that facing impotence for men is like loosing the most important power symbol they have. Loosing something that we think it defines us, makes us finally ask the question (which sets the Universe in motion to assist us) - and in that way look at part of self, and hopefully process it and bring it to the light, finally. All in order to step off the cycle of karma and get on the dharma pathway. After all impotence will serve its purpose like everything else. Hehe ;-)

Simply, we are recovering all dimensions of self with our full physical presence. Separation of the spirit and the body is another artificial construct and programming myth that is going down the drain. At this time, there is no real healing, and no real ascension without healing of the body; and accepting and acknowledging body and thus form for its place, role, purpose and work done to hold us, and our disjointed and dysfunctional life-energy system together (end then we discarding it like an (ab)used vessel.

Thank you, my body. Thank you, body. I am sorry for all of the abuse through which I have put you.