31 August 2009
Pure Love*
Since I started to receive pictures of gap and gap crossing last spring, I have seen that it was LOVE and emotional expression (even if not love only) that will create the bridge to cross the gap. I have seen people at the great distances as ‘falling in love’ and having this long distance love relationships - in a way creating the Love Grid across the planet. I have had a lot of confusion around this picture because for me it was deeply personal. Few people I love are all around the world and apart. I was not understanding fully my picture (hence I did not write about it before). 
Since then, I have processed and released more of what has been in a way of my clarity, and came to place of being neutral within. I have been sitting in certainty and knowing that now I just have to wait for the right time. In my wait, I am still dropping the veils and learning more.
Physical Body Adjusting to Astral Body Update
What has transpired lately is that the best thing of laying low and waiting has been allowing the time to our physical body to adjust to changes of astral body blueprint that are of such immense significance… This adjustments on our bodies are necessary ingredients and step on our Path of Self-realization and Self-actualization (Post about the Magic is in the making and it closely relates to Self-actualizing). What is clear to me now is that this is double crossing or rather bridging:
within and without.
Within
For to cross within we have had to do all the homework I have been writing about since the beginning of this blog, emotional movement necessary in the emotional-magnetic body; physically and anatomically this has resulted in reptilian brain releasing its grip on the other more developed parts of our human brain and in particular our limbic brain. [And of course in turn this also means physiological changes and adjustments; change of our bodily biochemistry: from ph and hormonal levels to neuronal exchanges, etc…]. This was required to make the bridge between our left and right brain hemispheres. Corpus callusum will finally take its place of balancing and bridging these sides of our brain so that there is no dominant side. Brain hemispheres will be harmonized and will be working in constant harmony > making our brain a unified, one brain – no more ‘spherical/polarized’ distinction. This will increase brain capacity as well as creativity of individual. Each side will make its contribution effortlessly, much like a dance of well tuned couple.
Bridging the gap without
Will follow (as always) inner transformation. It feels as it will take longer time span, as we are going to be crossing multitudes of multidirectional (means to all to what we relate from Earth, Sun, Water, to partners, sons, daughters, schools, trees, etc.) relational gaps. However, to cross the relational gap it requires work on both sides and meeting in the middle – thus relational gap crossing is co-creating endeavor. If there is no such and an effort/commitment on both sides than that will manifest in relational break up and moving apart in time-space continuum. Even if it is seemingly the most loving and most tied relationship like, for instance, mother-son, father-daughter, Romeo-Juliet kind of relationship. However, this effort and commitment is just matter of the will and desire to move in whatever direction and then it will come spontaneously and synchronously, hence effortlessly, as if the whole universe will support this movement. Consequently, it is conditioned by willingness and desire, that is to say, based in the Truth of the Heart. This kind of coming together is sustainable in nature. Based solely in co-creative energy exchange relationships will be attractive through vibrational matching. So if our entire Path is about Love understanding itself and finding truth about itself then we have come to place of feeling into what the love is and what is not. And in a way, I know we are the bottom of it, as maybe there is still same rage and terror present (the most denied emotions on the planet, and thus, the last ones to be faced. But now that they are in the light for the first time ever, they are on their way to balance out. Terror is at the bottom of it, as it was a terror that got entangled with the GUILT from the time we can barely remember in our bones. And then - everything else piled on top.
Myth of Unconditional Love Is Created by GUILT
Also, it is feeling of terror that you have to make place for guilt or you are not loving [story of Adam and Eve and Story Two - My Story later in this text].
Story One
This story was told by my teacher in the class and is her dream/vision of finding about unconditional love and extreme differentiation of co-creative and co-dependent (or at least that is what I making out of it).
So she had encountered a great snake and as her expression of being co-creative human she wanted to express her co-creative and loving nature by kissing the snake. However, snake bit her back. She repeated this several times believing that snake would ‘come around’ as if changed by love. Snake continued biting her. She was afraid but she had stayed resolute in to find out what the deal was. Hence, as much as she was fearing the snake she has continued to observe and study the snake. Finally, through her observation she become to notice that snake was not a snake, but artificially created mechanism that was simply programmed into biting and that was the only function it could perform.
I see this story as extremely fitting to illustrate that there is limit to unconditional acceptance and unconditional love. The limit is if you see that after a while an energy balance is very inequitable among the relating parties that should be time to see where is energy leak (normally the warning sign of inequitable energy exchange is some sort of illness, some manifestation that brings our attention back to self). Hence, unconditional love and unconditional acceptance are reserved only for SELF, for our own emotions, shortcomings and brilliance, etc. Everything outside of the self should be felt by our will/emotional body and responded freely, even if that means yelling at someone, "I hate you." (Especailly, if that is something we really feel at the moment). The magnetic energy field (emotional body) must be allowed to move freely. The will/emotional body (feminine aspect) has held belief that unconditional acceptance in love meant making place for everything. Even death. The will has been holding death as it was told by guilt it is unloving to put anything outside of self. And will (opens space for creation - a field) cannot hold everything. Love and guilt cannot co-exist in the same place because of vibrational differences, and yet they have been entangled holding our emotional and thus physical body captive (human body and planetary body). And wherever guilt comes in, it never makes space for anything else. Nor does it move back, or on in any way. It cannot evolve as that is not Guilt's intention and/nor choice.
Writing all of this just to say that there are things I do NOT LIKE, and to say that we do not have to like everything, and moreover that we do not have to express liking for everything! Also, we cannot train/entrain ourselves or our brains to be positive and then to see the world through the pink glasses, and if we are negative we will see only ugly things. This is bull shit. What ever we have judged negative and then hide it, will stay and hold energy back until we release the judgment, and then everything else. Something that is not pleasing to us in the environment or outside of selves is the same as bodily disease. It is the sign of misalignment or imbalance. If someone thinks can train/control oneself into positivism by avoiding to see ugly and pretend all is fine it is form of denial. Hehe, denial is the first stage in healing. So then there is a long way to go, if one has healing and evolution of SELF and the planet in mind.
Recognition of guilt comes with the evolution of Love understanding itself. So death (is opposite from life, and God is life, light, love giving) and guilt will be tossed out life seeking creation (the grand separation, sort out, rapture, etc.). At this particular time we, consciously or subconsciously, are dealing with these emotions and separations. This manifests in much stomach problems (guilt release, because God's Pure Love is penetrating where it has space to fill it in), panic attacks (facing feeling of terror), anger fits (rage covering up feeling of terror)… If you are in a point of balance at this time you can still be releasing guilt, can be experiencing extreme fatigue and urticaria like symptoms (similar to allergy); where fatigue and urticaria are simply our bodies reaction to the outside environment that is much ticker then our space that we have been clearing for so long that has achieved certain lightness. Basically, it is difference in density.
The other day, I had gone with a friend to a mountain side, a place ridden with the last war's energies (enemy combatants positioned themselves there and where shelling the town for over three years): front line’s trenches, mines, disincarnate beings… Place was so energetically dense… Now some fourteen years after war, it has seemed as place’s density attracts unconscious (dense energetic field) people, who are continuing assault onto the mountain side, by almost clear cutting it, and really using it in abusive way - nature responded in much of the forest being diseased. Later, I explained to my friend: think you are walking through the air; then imagine you are wading through the waist deep water – it slows you down; then imagine you are plowing through the waist deep snow – that is the energy of Grabez (place name where we were). Now, I should have pretended that it is beautiful? No, I needed to bring an awarness that something is not right!
[Side note: I did ask Archangel Micheael to take care of disincarnate beings, Archangel Uriel to sort them out, Archangel Gabriel to take them to their proper bins of transformation and Archaengel Rafael to bring his presence and emerald green light to heel the place. As I did invite the Fairy Queen to vibrate into memory of Earth magic. Etc.].
If you followed any of my writing you are getting that we have an effect on the plight and energy of ourselves and the Earth. And that God is expecting us to take our freedom and responsibility back for ourselves. Once we freely and responsibly run our own energy field we are not going to be pushing away from ourselves what we have termed ‘negative’ into the Earth. After all the Earth is not going to hold any of our crap anymore and that is why personal and system break downs. Any suppressed energy is going back where is not being accepted, but it has originated with person, organization, system will be breaking it up.
So then again, the moral of the story is: unconditional acceptance and unconditional love is conditional after all: applies only to SELF: to get into Evolution of Love one has to accept all of him/herSELF; once accepted there has to be room for free emotional expression – which is basically free movement of the will/emotional body/magnetic in our field; one does NOT have to accept what does not feel good to oneSELF. It has been guilt that has told to SELF(us) that is not loving not to accept unconditionally what has not felt good to our emotional body. It is nature of emotional body to be subjective and that it is OK.
From the first post I have been talking about the grand process of transformation. Many religious teachings have a concept of the Path of finding the true self, from tariqah to alchemy… Besides, I have been ranting about rage and terror since the earliest posts. Yet, they are still vibrating and tuning, as well as the Guilt is bubbling away. Simply because there is still rage, and more terror entangled in peoples’ and planetary energy fields. But the first wave of pioneers is about to wave beacon from the other side (9/9/9).
Lately, I have known that I must be having unmoved terror inside of my energetic field, but that was theoretical conclusion I made based in what I have learned so far about energy and basic energetic principles. Also, lately I have begun to tell myself, I do not know why do I have to say or make it appear as I like something when I do not like something. I mean I look into something and I ‘should' be saying thanks God, this is something so stupendous, wonderful and I enjoy it, when the TRUTH was that there are many things I do not like and I say I do not like them, but then as if there is this nag telling me that I should love it. Even that is not of significance, but what I want to announce is that I was slowly getting to the core, to the cause, to the TRUTH.
As I was writing my blog today, I started to feel so heavy. And even though I had risen up two-three hours prior, I had to close up what I was doing. I sat down to run my energy, but even that was too much, I had to lay down. So I did. I decided to run my energy while laid down and in reversed order if I could say so. Yesterday for the first time, while I was sunbathing (that is how I got the idea, my soles were turned up towards the sun), and than today for the second time I did this reverse energy run. Namely, after grounding myself I invited magnetic/feminine energy to come through the top of my head, and electric/masculine through my sole chakras (K1s). It was interesting to ‘observe' that magnetic when enters through the top of the head really has made sort of tiny multicoloured lightning storm. It felt just as there was light flying everywhere sort of as in fashion of connecting circuitry that have been disconnected. I did want to mention this, because this energy run went against anything I have ever learned about how to do it.
[I do want to make a disclaimer that this is probably not good thing to do, if you are just at the beginning stages of clearing and balancing of your system.] Regardless, I was still feeling, sort of, totally relaxed. Then I felt a need to sleep a bit, and I turned to my side little curled. I had not fallen asleep, so I was not in a dream space, I was totally aware, when I felt my mother presence. [My mother has passed away when I was teenager.] I have never experienced her this way before. She has ‘sat’ into that bit of space I left open as I had curled. It was really as when the mother attends sick child. She placed her hand on my forehead, and she sort of caressed down my hands and my legs. We started to ‘talk’ through the third eye. I said to her, “You had left me such a huge burden!’" She was apologizing to me and holding me. As we had continued talking I realized that all that burden have been things she has not loved, and I have not loved either. Actually, I have had pretty clear memory of feeling of terror I had for inheriting all of that: house, sister, role of parent I did not want, role of landlady I did not want, role of housekeeper I did not want [my dad was gone two years prior to my mom]…
I was in such deep state of terror that I felt it all freeze inside of me - I did not know what to do with it. At some point she placed her hand at this spot behind my heart where I have had this frozen emotional entanglement for the longest time. I have known it, it is there. There have been frozen emotions of rage and grief and I have released from that same place many times. [My mother was made to forgo her love by her parents (of course, in spirit was her choice), and then pushed to stay in abusive relationship with my father - I was not born out of love**. She stoically put up with it never to say a word to her parents, but all that created so much bitterness inside of her that she died of sepsis at the age of 36.]
With that I started to cry my guts out, and flood gate of memories and revelations opened at the same time, and I completely understood situation I was in and why I was not liking so many things and was not able to hold on to what I liked. As prosaic as it may sound, I was losing everything left and right. From my creations, to not being able to be where I wanted to be and visit with people I wanted to visit, to becoming aware that was why I had so much 'space' and home problem. Never being able to have space I knew I wanted and needed to create my heart's desire. As this was going on, I was sort of showing this to my mom, and we have had this unsaid mutual understanding of significance of the moment and the process. I was having a strong feeling that this was going to finally open a space for me and my life to live it the way I want it.
As all of this was subduing I also said to the mother, "You did not love me when I was born." She embraced me and I could feel love exchange. And I cried.
Moments later she laid behind me and merged with me as through my bone structure.
*Pure Love is Love without Guilt mixed in it
** I have not known any of these stories until recent years when in my healing process I tried to understand relationship of my mother and father and I started to ask questions to those I could.
And for the heck of it: I love this song as I do this video.It is fitting, hehe.
Since I started to receive pictures of gap and gap crossing last spring, I have seen that it was LOVE and emotional expression (even if not love only) that will create the bridge to cross the gap. I have seen people at the great distances as ‘falling in love’ and having this long distance love relationships - in a way creating the Love Grid across the planet. I have had a lot of confusion around this picture because for me it was deeply personal. Few people I love are all around the world and apart. I was not understanding fully my picture (hence I did not write about it before). 
Since then, I have processed and released more of what has been in a way of my clarity, and came to place of being neutral within. I have been sitting in certainty and knowing that now I just have to wait for the right time. In my wait, I am still dropping the veils and learning more.Physical Body Adjusting to Astral Body Update
What has transpired lately is that the best thing of laying low and waiting has been allowing the time to our physical body to adjust to changes of astral body blueprint that are of such immense significance… This adjustments on our bodies are necessary ingredients and step on our Path of Self-realization and Self-actualization (Post about the Magic is in the making and it closely relates to Self-actualizing). What is clear to me now is that this is double crossing or rather bridging:
within and without.
Within
For to cross within we have had to do all the homework I have been writing about since the beginning of this blog, emotional movement necessary in the emotional-magnetic body; physically and anatomically this has resulted in reptilian brain releasing its grip on the other more developed parts of our human brain and in particular our limbic brain. [And of course in turn this also means physiological changes and adjustments; change of our bodily biochemistry: from ph and hormonal levels to neuronal exchanges, etc…]. This was required to make the bridge between our left and right brain hemispheres. Corpus callusum will finally take its place of balancing and bridging these sides of our brain so that there is no dominant side. Brain hemispheres will be harmonized and will be working in constant harmony > making our brain a unified, one brain – no more ‘spherical/polarized’ distinction. This will increase brain capacity as well as creativity of individual. Each side will make its contribution effortlessly, much like a dance of well tuned couple.
Bridging the gap without
Will follow (as always) inner transformation. It feels as it will take longer time span, as we are going to be crossing multitudes of multidirectional (means to all to what we relate from Earth, Sun, Water, to partners, sons, daughters, schools, trees, etc.) relational gaps. However, to cross the relational gap it requires work on both sides and meeting in the middle – thus relational gap crossing is co-creating endeavor. If there is no such and an effort/commitment on both sides than that will manifest in relational break up and moving apart in time-space continuum. Even if it is seemingly the most loving and most tied relationship like, for instance, mother-son, father-daughter, Romeo-Juliet kind of relationship. However, this effort and commitment is just matter of the will and desire to move in whatever direction and then it will come spontaneously and synchronously, hence effortlessly, as if the whole universe will support this movement. Consequently, it is conditioned by willingness and desire, that is to say, based in the Truth of the Heart. This kind of coming together is sustainable in nature. Based solely in co-creative energy exchange relationships will be attractive through vibrational matching. So if our entire Path is about Love understanding itself and finding truth about itself then we have come to place of feeling into what the love is and what is not. And in a way, I know we are the bottom of it, as maybe there is still same rage and terror present (the most denied emotions on the planet, and thus, the last ones to be faced. But now that they are in the light for the first time ever, they are on their way to balance out. Terror is at the bottom of it, as it was a terror that got entangled with the GUILT from the time we can barely remember in our bones. And then - everything else piled on top.
Myth of Unconditional Love Is Created by GUILT
Also, it is feeling of terror that you have to make place for guilt or you are not loving [story of Adam and Eve and Story Two - My Story later in this text].
Story One
This story was told by my teacher in the class and is her dream/vision of finding about unconditional love and extreme differentiation of co-creative and co-dependent (or at least that is what I making out of it).
So she had encountered a great snake and as her expression of being co-creative human she wanted to express her co-creative and loving nature by kissing the snake. However, snake bit her back. She repeated this several times believing that snake would ‘come around’ as if changed by love. Snake continued biting her. She was afraid but she had stayed resolute in to find out what the deal was. Hence, as much as she was fearing the snake she has continued to observe and study the snake. Finally, through her observation she become to notice that snake was not a snake, but artificially created mechanism that was simply programmed into biting and that was the only function it could perform.
I see this story as extremely fitting to illustrate that there is limit to unconditional acceptance and unconditional love. The limit is if you see that after a while an energy balance is very inequitable among the relating parties that should be time to see where is energy leak (normally the warning sign of inequitable energy exchange is some sort of illness, some manifestation that brings our attention back to self). Hence, unconditional love and unconditional acceptance are reserved only for SELF, for our own emotions, shortcomings and brilliance, etc. Everything outside of the self should be felt by our will/emotional body and responded freely, even if that means yelling at someone, "I hate you." (Especailly, if that is something we really feel at the moment). The magnetic energy field (emotional body) must be allowed to move freely. The will/emotional body (feminine aspect) has held belief that unconditional acceptance in love meant making place for everything. Even death. The will has been holding death as it was told by guilt it is unloving to put anything outside of self. And will (opens space for creation - a field) cannot hold everything. Love and guilt cannot co-exist in the same place because of vibrational differences, and yet they have been entangled holding our emotional and thus physical body captive (human body and planetary body). And wherever guilt comes in, it never makes space for anything else. Nor does it move back, or on in any way. It cannot evolve as that is not Guilt's intention and/nor choice.
Writing all of this just to say that there are things I do NOT LIKE, and to say that we do not have to like everything, and moreover that we do not have to express liking for everything! Also, we cannot train/entrain ourselves or our brains to be positive and then to see the world through the pink glasses, and if we are negative we will see only ugly things. This is bull shit. What ever we have judged negative and then hide it, will stay and hold energy back until we release the judgment, and then everything else. Something that is not pleasing to us in the environment or outside of selves is the same as bodily disease. It is the sign of misalignment or imbalance. If someone thinks can train/control oneself into positivism by avoiding to see ugly and pretend all is fine it is form of denial. Hehe, denial is the first stage in healing. So then there is a long way to go, if one has healing and evolution of SELF and the planet in mind.
Recognition of guilt comes with the evolution of Love understanding itself. So death (is opposite from life, and God is life, light, love giving) and guilt will be tossed out life seeking creation (the grand separation, sort out, rapture, etc.). At this particular time we, consciously or subconsciously, are dealing with these emotions and separations. This manifests in much stomach problems (guilt release, because God's Pure Love is penetrating where it has space to fill it in), panic attacks (facing feeling of terror), anger fits (rage covering up feeling of terror)… If you are in a point of balance at this time you can still be releasing guilt, can be experiencing extreme fatigue and urticaria like symptoms (similar to allergy); where fatigue and urticaria are simply our bodies reaction to the outside environment that is much ticker then our space that we have been clearing for so long that has achieved certain lightness. Basically, it is difference in density.
The other day, I had gone with a friend to a mountain side, a place ridden with the last war's energies (enemy combatants positioned themselves there and where shelling the town for over three years): front line’s trenches, mines, disincarnate beings… Place was so energetically dense… Now some fourteen years after war, it has seemed as place’s density attracts unconscious (dense energetic field) people, who are continuing assault onto the mountain side, by almost clear cutting it, and really using it in abusive way - nature responded in much of the forest being diseased. Later, I explained to my friend: think you are walking through the air; then imagine you are wading through the waist deep water – it slows you down; then imagine you are plowing through the waist deep snow – that is the energy of Grabez (place name where we were). Now, I should have pretended that it is beautiful? No, I needed to bring an awarness that something is not right!
[Side note: I did ask Archangel Micheael to take care of disincarnate beings, Archangel Uriel to sort them out, Archangel Gabriel to take them to their proper bins of transformation and Archaengel Rafael to bring his presence and emerald green light to heel the place. As I did invite the Fairy Queen to vibrate into memory of Earth magic. Etc.].
If you followed any of my writing you are getting that we have an effect on the plight and energy of ourselves and the Earth. And that God is expecting us to take our freedom and responsibility back for ourselves. Once we freely and responsibly run our own energy field we are not going to be pushing away from ourselves what we have termed ‘negative’ into the Earth. After all the Earth is not going to hold any of our crap anymore and that is why personal and system break downs. Any suppressed energy is going back where is not being accepted, but it has originated with person, organization, system will be breaking it up.
So then again, the moral of the story is: unconditional acceptance and unconditional love is conditional after all: applies only to SELF: to get into Evolution of Love one has to accept all of him/herSELF; once accepted there has to be room for free emotional expression – which is basically free movement of the will/emotional body/magnetic in our field; one does NOT have to accept what does not feel good to oneSELF. It has been guilt that has told to SELF(us) that is not loving not to accept unconditionally what has not felt good to our emotional body. It is nature of emotional body to be subjective and that it is OK.
From the first post I have been talking about the grand process of transformation. Many religious teachings have a concept of the Path of finding the true self, from tariqah to alchemy… Besides, I have been ranting about rage and terror since the earliest posts. Yet, they are still vibrating and tuning, as well as the Guilt is bubbling away. Simply because there is still rage, and more terror entangled in peoples’ and planetary energy fields. But the first wave of pioneers is about to wave beacon from the other side (9/9/9).
3 September 2009
Story Two; My Story: My Mother's VisitLately, I have known that I must be having unmoved terror inside of my energetic field, but that was theoretical conclusion I made based in what I have learned so far about energy and basic energetic principles. Also, lately I have begun to tell myself, I do not know why do I have to say or make it appear as I like something when I do not like something. I mean I look into something and I ‘should' be saying thanks God, this is something so stupendous, wonderful and I enjoy it, when the TRUTH was that there are many things I do not like and I say I do not like them, but then as if there is this nag telling me that I should love it. Even that is not of significance, but what I want to announce is that I was slowly getting to the core, to the cause, to the TRUTH.
As I was writing my blog today, I started to feel so heavy. And even though I had risen up two-three hours prior, I had to close up what I was doing. I sat down to run my energy, but even that was too much, I had to lay down. So I did. I decided to run my energy while laid down and in reversed order if I could say so. Yesterday for the first time, while I was sunbathing (that is how I got the idea, my soles were turned up towards the sun), and than today for the second time I did this reverse energy run. Namely, after grounding myself I invited magnetic/feminine energy to come through the top of my head, and electric/masculine through my sole chakras (K1s). It was interesting to ‘observe' that magnetic when enters through the top of the head really has made sort of tiny multicoloured lightning storm. It felt just as there was light flying everywhere sort of as in fashion of connecting circuitry that have been disconnected. I did want to mention this, because this energy run went against anything I have ever learned about how to do it.
[I do want to make a disclaimer that this is probably not good thing to do, if you are just at the beginning stages of clearing and balancing of your system.] Regardless, I was still feeling, sort of, totally relaxed. Then I felt a need to sleep a bit, and I turned to my side little curled. I had not fallen asleep, so I was not in a dream space, I was totally aware, when I felt my mother presence. [My mother has passed away when I was teenager.] I have never experienced her this way before. She has ‘sat’ into that bit of space I left open as I had curled. It was really as when the mother attends sick child. She placed her hand on my forehead, and she sort of caressed down my hands and my legs. We started to ‘talk’ through the third eye. I said to her, “You had left me such a huge burden!’" She was apologizing to me and holding me. As we had continued talking I realized that all that burden have been things she has not loved, and I have not loved either. Actually, I have had pretty clear memory of feeling of terror I had for inheriting all of that: house, sister, role of parent I did not want, role of landlady I did not want, role of housekeeper I did not want [my dad was gone two years prior to my mom]…I was in such deep state of terror that I felt it all freeze inside of me - I did not know what to do with it. At some point she placed her hand at this spot behind my heart where I have had this frozen emotional entanglement for the longest time. I have known it, it is there. There have been frozen emotions of rage and grief and I have released from that same place many times. [My mother was made to forgo her love by her parents (of course, in spirit was her choice), and then pushed to stay in abusive relationship with my father - I was not born out of love**. She stoically put up with it never to say a word to her parents, but all that created so much bitterness inside of her that she died of sepsis at the age of 36.]
With that I started to cry my guts out, and flood gate of memories and revelations opened at the same time, and I completely understood situation I was in and why I was not liking so many things and was not able to hold on to what I liked. As prosaic as it may sound, I was losing everything left and right. From my creations, to not being able to be where I wanted to be and visit with people I wanted to visit, to becoming aware that was why I had so much 'space' and home problem. Never being able to have space I knew I wanted and needed to create my heart's desire. As this was going on, I was sort of showing this to my mom, and we have had this unsaid mutual understanding of significance of the moment and the process. I was having a strong feeling that this was going to finally open a space for me and my life to live it the way I want it.
As all of this was subduing I also said to the mother, "You did not love me when I was born." She embraced me and I could feel love exchange. And I cried.
Moments later she laid behind me and merged with me as through my bone structure.
*Pure Love is Love without Guilt mixed in it
** I have not known any of these stories until recent years when in my healing process I tried to understand relationship of my mother and father and I started to ask questions to those I could.
And for the heck of it: I love this song as I do this video.It is fitting, hehe.
