Christchurch, New Zealand, 12 December 2009
Notice, Observe, That is All
After couple of adventurous side tours, I arrived to a totally new environment, to the opposite side of the globe to spend my hibernating times. The Island of the New and not too damaged by traumatic experiences as the Land is fairly new (in geologic terms) and history as well. So while I have been letting myself to wind down a bit at the same time, I was also struggling with old co-dependence and new co-creative concepts. At some point, I realized that the split and path diversion is about us making choice which way to go. And that while the old concept is familiar and we keep running the same circles, the new concept is scary as it is figuring out how to manifest new ways of relating amidst the old mess. Conceptually it is clear, but still unclear, how, what, where...
Somehow, I have certainty that it is OK for now to just take care of myself. Have as good food as possible. Continue to do what I can given the circumstances to support my body in the bodyworks. Tittering between two worlds, knowing that I am not going anywhere yet, taking care of myself is the most compassionate thing I can do.
Even though, I have let go of so many relationships in recent years, there is still struggle that comes from observing loved ones choosing to stay in co-dependence and suffering as a result. It is hard work to constantly reminding oneself that that is also a choice and it just means they are choosing a different path and that I can only respect whatever choices they have made. But I know there is a learning in all, and that is what has kept me going my entire life. Now, it is not any different, and mind you, all of this is piece of cake when I think of it (looking over my life in retrospect). With all of that, there is also a picture emerging about learning how to reconcile these two diverging, but still co-existing realities in same time-space.
In addition, it has been an exercise in simply noticing and observing discrepancies in the environment and seeing how discrepancies are addressed as a result of bringing awareness. Amazing. Witnessing the power of bringing the awareness into the picture. Trusting that the energy flows. :-)
Notice, Observe, That is All
After couple of adventurous side tours, I arrived to a totally new environment, to the opposite side of the globe to spend my hibernating times. The Island of the New and not too damaged by traumatic experiences as the Land is fairly new (in geologic terms) and history as well. So while I have been letting myself to wind down a bit at the same time, I was also struggling with old co-dependence and new co-creative concepts. At some point, I realized that the split and path diversion is about us making choice which way to go. And that while the old concept is familiar and we keep running the same circles, the new concept is scary as it is figuring out how to manifest new ways of relating amidst the old mess. Conceptually it is clear, but still unclear, how, what, where...
Somehow, I have certainty that it is OK for now to just take care of myself. Have as good food as possible. Continue to do what I can given the circumstances to support my body in the bodyworks. Tittering between two worlds, knowing that I am not going anywhere yet, taking care of myself is the most compassionate thing I can do.
Even though, I have let go of so many relationships in recent years, there is still struggle that comes from observing loved ones choosing to stay in co-dependence and suffering as a result. It is hard work to constantly reminding oneself that that is also a choice and it just means they are choosing a different path and that I can only respect whatever choices they have made. But I know there is a learning in all, and that is what has kept me going my entire life. Now, it is not any different, and mind you, all of this is piece of cake when I think of it (looking over my life in retrospect). With all of that, there is also a picture emerging about learning how to reconcile these two diverging, but still co-existing realities in same time-space.
In addition, it has been an exercise in simply noticing and observing discrepancies in the environment and seeing how discrepancies are addressed as a result of bringing awareness. Amazing. Witnessing the power of bringing the awareness into the picture. Trusting that the energy flows. :-)
